now in CINEPHONIC QUADROVISION

Most posts are straight from the heart and have nothing to do with the actual world in your rear view mirror. Other posts are the results of tempers flared or the day to day toil involving the incongruities of life on this earth.Today is a little different because I really haven't had the chance to share the beauties of this world such as the simple pleasures of farting.I remember the days when it was so taboo letting a cheek squeak.Or even conversing about defecating.One fond memory was when an ex-girlfriend and I drove 25 minutes to visit a shopping mall(god no not for me) and I picked a fight with her so she would drive me back home so I could drop the kids off at the superbowl.Yeah,I don't believe in that anymore and I doubt if I were (godforbid)single again I would not hold back on releasing what I created for this world from my sphincter boombox.So long live farting.Now go watch this...
Worth every dollar I spent,(it cost 1 dollar)spectacular karate fighting,knife wielding,dialogue,costumes, you name it.The plot is as thin as processed blond hair.The characters are as one sided as a flounder.But being such an avid fan of movies that make most peoples eyes roll into their skulls quicker than diarrhea sliding down a icy hill(which I have seen my neighbors dog do; no pun intended)I watched the whole thing riveted.I'm convinced every action movie must have subsequently copied this gem.The soundtrack is unattainable believe me I have tried.
This was also from the dollar pile which you would think in this struggling economy I would be a bigger penny pincher but the price was right AND I bet any so called rich artist asshole in New York City would think he was cool as shit knowing about this movie.I,am poor and do not live in NYC but I have mad cool point just because I appreciate the genre. And besides everyone wants to kick Bruce Lee's ass I just like to weigh in on the competition.Shot entirely in Thailand but dubbed in Chinese originally this movie sports some kick ass simulated Muay Thai...I think Ong Bak stole from this movie a little. The Death of Bruce Lee was so good I fell asleep 15 minutes into it so don't get mad if I can't give you the goods but i'm sure it rules.

I can't really break the good news about how kick ass this set of movies are to the white peoples but tough shit learn some Spanish because if you live in this country you should be bi-lingual.When you pick up the phone and dial 411 it offers you two languages:English and Spanish, not fucking Chinese or Swahili or Afrikaner.So since I have established Our majority I can honestly say if what I wrote severely offends you I would like to invite you to come and spend a couple of days where I live.If that does not convince you well don't forget to take a swig from the bucket next to my front door labeled "CHINGA TU MADRE"
My review for both of these movies wrestlers solving crimes with hot chicks as their assistants and kicking bad guys asses(in Espanol).


Now go listen....
"OYE,HEAVY DOOTY!"
the chinga tu madre sessions

Hell will come for if you listen too much to this band.No just kidding but it puts the CHU in chucha.Rumour has it that Mike Patton was such a fan he offered up his lead guitarist from Faith No More..which he then appeared in Bill and Ted's Bogus Adventure. Fucking Weird.
Hits include Jello Biafra's cameo on "Pito Wilson",neck mutilations from thrashing too hard on "La Migra" and my favorite "La Ley Del Plomo" the law of lead...yeah,very choice.Imaginary taglines for this album should be "IT WILL MAKE YOUR SHIT COME OUT!!!!"



All bow your heads showing respect to one of the Cult of Chucha Tu Madre's many fathers..Mr.Lux Interior and his demise from this cinder we call home.How can you go wrong listening to a song called "Let's Gets Fucked Up"???Cuts to the chase,shaves down the hairy legs of a puritanistic town,milks the ceremonial cow..(damn you True Blood)Another choice cut is "Naked Girl Falling Down the Stairs" need I say anything...


now go fuck off and live.....

The Devil Works At The Wash....

Usually I will prattle on endlessly about how bad it is where I work, secretly praying I will get fired for writing about this place on the net and posting it on blogs. But today it was like a lightning bolt pierced my skull and the utter uselessness of my endless efforts of becoming a model worker for this company became apparent. Let me explain; today started off as usual when clouds loom on the horizon (literally) many people were sent home and the few that were left to fend for themselves took the bullet for the team. Car after car piled in and a mad scramble to assure quality control was thrown from the roof. As I was hunkered down in front of one of these obnoxious Cadillac Escalades I noticed the owner of the wash moving into the express detail area with a woman behind him. Okay first I have to explain the layout of this area; there are two car-wide sized belts that run parallel to each other on which cars are driven onto and when the belt runs the car should be finished getting wiped down by the time the car reaches the other side. At the beginning of these 150 foot long belts are grates where you can access the underbelly of these giants to perform routine maintenance. The owner had removed one of the grates 2 months ago to repair the belt and never got around to finishing the job or in my opinion got in deeper than he could swim and was such a fucking cheap bastard he didn't call in a technician who could finish the job in days. Nonetheless, the woman carrying the camera was apparently getting the logistics from the owner of the operation in this building while she appeared to be taking pictures because her eyes were tuned into the view finder. I turned my back for a second to adjust my squatting position in front of this beast and when I looked back she was gone and the owner (dumbstruck to say the least) was staring ,blank faced into the 2x2 gaping hole.HIS first reaction dial 911 on his cellphone,MY first reaction run to the hole. Now I will digress for one second to delve into my past, I have witnessed first hand many dead bodies in many states of decomposition, ranging from fresh to bloated. The one thing that always shocks me is the way the body seems to lose all posture or composure and it falls haphazardly like a puppet with its strings cut. When I approached the hole the shock of seeing this woman crumpled up and lying in a pool of filth hit me in the guts..(I have ventured into the "PIT" as we lovingly call it,trust me this shit is FOUL) By this time another guy had jumped in and I reached over to help him pull her lifeless body out..She was dead to the world so it was a struggle to lift her out..Her eyes were shut and I swore she was dead but then her eye fluttered open and I asked her "What is your name?" Her eyes rolled back and her jaw fell open, my asshole dropped out. My friend held her up for support and the guy whose car came out from the belt ran over and said he was a EMT..I stepped back and let the pro take over while my friend continued to prop her up. I always remember the first thing to do is make sure they don't lay down or go to sleep when there is a head injury involved. It was pretty gruesome,the cut on the side of her head started bleeding, dark crimson, darker than my fake blood which I always use on weekends when I'm bored. Apparently she sidestepped into the hole and hit the side of her head into the metal which props up the grate when it gets slid into place..BAM! Your day is ruined in milliseconds. Now comes the routine part ambulance,vitals,stretcher,denial,departure. You would think this cheap fucker and his family would have at least gotten into the ambulance with her and kissed her ass until she got home later that day or whenever seeing that this was the lawsuit nobody wants in their business,the burned lips on the cup McDonalds coffee. No, nobody cared,the 3 of them stayed,the old man wandered around like he had lost his arm;like in the beginning of "Saving Private Ryan"..Shell shocked for at least 15 minutes I waited until he would come around and tell everyone how it was Our fault and surprisingly it didn't happen.YET. I heard him joking about a car that had some cat sticker on it and that's when it hit me like a slap.They really didn't give a flying fuck about anything or anyone except themselves.. Then came the speech about this was our fault as much as it was his.......I didn't bother to translate.Long live the pig fuckers.

"OYE,HEAVY DOOTY!"
(MUSIC TO FUCK PEOPLE UP TO)
Let's start with the old school shits..I cannot stress how much this album has been the soundtrack to so many things important to me. These things including stomping a fucking mudhole in someones ass. Great stress relief to the point of maybe inching out Yoga.Listen with reckless abandon and since I am the first generation of the WALKMAN listeners I am deaf so listen loud,very very loud for your MOMS.Choice cuts, every track, what the fuck do you think?

This article is about the Swedish band. For the disease known as hives, see Urticaria. My secret fantasy is to back-hook kick someone in the face while the opening track "Abra Cadaver" is playing. Then I want to press repeat and kick them again,in the neck bone.Proof positive that Swedish bands are fucking awesome (don't believe me look up the band Messugah)
Pop this in the day you quit your job.This in the background and a hand full of glitter into your ex-bosses face, oh yeah, memorable alright,like two fucking samurai swords at your ex-girlfriends wedding... By the way,yeah you ain't getting glitter out...EVER





Irony is a bitch: the woman that fell in the hole, works for the workers comp people.
now fuck the fuck off....

80% of everything is bullchets...

Sometimes when I sleep I dream of a robotic apparatus joined to my body a la Tetsuo Ironman..Most people think that is weird. To my credit though I am a HUGE fan of anything cyber..Some of my fondest memories as a young man were rushing over to check out the comics rack and magazine section at the local U-TOTEM and living across the street from a Wax Museum. There amidst the smelly redneck cuisine and dark trucker type figures flowing in and out I spied something amazing..I hefted the magazine out of its corner. I was amazed how beefy it was compared to the regular comics I was used to reading. The paper was smooth and shiny sparkling in the garish yellow-green fluorescent lighting.HEAVY METAL the adult illustrated fantasy magazine in bold black print..ballsy... The cover was a Boris Vallejo painting of a scantily clad,buxom female wielding a laser pistol cybernetically grafted to her arm and I thought,"HOLY SHIT". I was officially "hooked". I was introduced to some of my now favorite artists Serpieri,Jodorowsky,Moebius,Frazetta you get the jist..I also followed the anime classics because in Ecuador there was no school house rock, we had japanese shows dubbd to spanish..The Macross saga,Mazzinger z,SanKukai,Starblazers,Voltron,Astroboy any kinda big ass robot show and I was stuck on stupid lunching in front of the TV.Gaming started me on the Mech games,(that list is extensive) and last but not least all japanese manga involving huge freaking robots. I was thinking about getting metal legs,the process is expensive I've heard.oh yeah read "snowcrash" that's all I can say...

"OYE,HEAVY DOOTY!"

I was supposed to report to work today but as I probably informed the imaginary people that read this I work at a hellish carwash.Which has completely a weather based attendance policy.Meaning if it rains,no worky. You know how some people say we only use 10% of our brains,well I believe I only use 10% of my heart when I have to work at this place especially on saturdays and sundays. Since it has been raining here lately, I was woken up to the sounds of "don't come in today" which may have well been the Archangel Gabriel blowing his horn in my ear.With his dulcet tones engulfing my mind and genitalia...ahhhhhhhhhh(splort)
So,with the rain I figured The Smiths would be fitting for driving around running erands,eating Mexican food or whatever ails ya.My heart goes out to the people who actually had to show up at "the ole HellHole"...cheers to you,this is the soundtrack to your day..

Think about the last time you listened to Pink Floyds "The Dark Side of The Moon"....now don't. This will have you desperately searching for you pipe which you threw away when you decide never to exhale ever again. To say that this album is a breath of fresh air into a stale genre "CLASSIC ROCK" would be insulting. The name itself (clasic rock)is a connotation of the same 100 creaky ass songs the play over and over again on the airwaves oh yes and also on the satellite transmissions. Listen to this at full volume or as my best friend says "broadcast level",especially the track "On The Run" which makes a little bit of pee come out me into my underwears..


now fuck off..proper

Meka-Leka-Hi-Meka-Hiney-Ho

The Internet is useful, it makes the world make sense,it makes the world alot smaller,people make sounder choices,putting just the head in won't make a girl pregnant,relationships will magically dissapear,sex is done in 45 seconds,how the hell does this picture signify that high school picture day has fallen so hard, becoming 40 in any decade makes absoultely no fucking sense....(fucking should be pronounced in an angry English accent maybe like "FAHKING")... I think I am feeling a touch at HATERNESS...My slack ass "connected" cousin is slacking on the ESPANISH LEYSER screen burning. So, I agree that the HATER logo is reaching the prehistoric logo status...Uhhh, just a quick subtle (my trademark) tiny piece of wisdom, (by the way I am silently downloading the soundtrack to ROCKNROLLA)"The internet was invented by the privileged,hacked by their kids and completely exploited by the mutherfuckingpoor.... Now, saying that and admitting to many internet crimes...All I can say is so be it.Because I had a public defender; I am eating shit. I am trapped in a world gone to Pot.Whoever cruises the Internet for "them"and sits at home sucking the teat of the government whilst trending blogs and making with the mandatory tally of the porn industries false tabloid style, clicking trends,spying on your brother man, ey, touch your balls and tell me you aren't excited by downloading music...do you know how many tapes and cd's I have lost to bros and hoes..I deserve this shit. I wanna talk about puppie dogs and icecream,God,what a line,wish I would have invented that...

"OYE,HEAVY DOOTY!"
Double, double toil and trouble.....The only thing that made sense this week so far; and if I have to explain theses albums to you...I hate you. The bossanova sound melded with hits of electronic jibber jabber,smooth dusky voices,chitter chatter,clanging cymbals,touchy feely lyrics. The equivalent of Los Tweets and a box of wine...Anything even related to the Os Mutantes albums is well worth the risk there are no specific tracks especially since I can't make up anybodies mind for them all I can say is : "Inhale deeply"


now fuck off.....

Too many notes......

Rain,rain,rain,rain...I was recently laid-off from my job and in a desperate attempt to overlap paychecks I applied at anyplace that was hiring and 40 applications later a local car wash called,interviewed me and offered me a position. I accepted the position because I have a mortgage and responsibilities and frankly, I was worried about being able find ANY work in this godforsaken town. So, months later I am still there and now with an impending winter on the horizon, the pucker factor is extremely high. Maybe like a 7.5 out of 10.
Uhh, yeah enough life problem shits..Booring to say the least. Thank god I can get online and watch an illegally taped movie uploaded to the Chez Nets.Watched the Tales of the Black Freighter and Jennifers Body. Both extremely entertaining but not incredibly uplifting maybe can be better described as "EYECANDY".The animation team that tackled the adaptation of the Tales/Watchmen crossover kicked major ass in many different ways.If you followed the Watchmen novel you will recall the complexities of adapting a story like that. Jennifers Body would have been better if everyone stopped talking like Diablo Cody...I know she is an obsessive blog reader and makes my writing seem like childish dribble but I heard her voice in every characters dialogue. Not that she isn't on the pulse of the American teenager but it just seemed like everyone was channeling her. I think that I may have to watch it again since I felt really tired and kinda blanked out during some parts not like alot but maybe yanno like small bits...stupid computer screen is hell to watch.

new musiqs,new musiqs,new musiqs...

"OYE,HEAVY DOOTY!"

Whoever discovered this dude was probably doing what I was doing,not expecting this sound... Yeah this guy was apparently homeless and some record producer heard his stuff and the rest is history.Smooth like chocolate and rich like cool whip?I feel like anything I write might detract from the this guys music...Some a-hole music writer probably is trying to lump him in with fucking Jack Johnson..Fuck no, he's my replacement for G-Love and the Special Sauce and John Spencer Blues Explosion. I heard maybe 2 minutes and I was like "WHAT IS THIS?" Choice tracks "bullet and a target"and "Nite becomes day"Go and get this you will not be sorry.

That was the new,now for the old...

Anything you may think, forget it. No possibilities of putting this album into a genre. As far as the new-school cut and paste they have their shit in front of them and they put it together as they go.DJ SHADOW has it laid out in his head decades before he hits the studio. The soundtrack to any good party with the tracks you play when the sun is coming out and you are the only person on the road...Choice tracks"What color does your soul look like?"and "Building steam with a grain of salt" On a side note DJ SHADOWS clip in "SCRATCH" sitting in a basement piled to the top with records (his secret stash) is a wet dream come true.



now fuck off......

The Father Of The Atom

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." Albert Einstein

The I-Phone makes music?

I figured this would come about soon enough but, not this soon and not this cool already. Once again Apple has burst the seams on imagination and created apps for the Iphone that emulate, for example a full keyboard, a 15 pad sampler (i.e. akai MPC style)and of course Brian Enos app that is just a simple but beautiful touch pad sequencer and sampler...No idea on how limited these apps are because I don't own an Iphone but I have a friend...who has one..who will let me do stuff with it...i think..

Another recent death in the annals of history, singer Mary Travers,from the group Peter,Paul and Mary has died from leukemia. Peter, Paul and Mary recorded hits still recognized now, including "Leaving on a Jet Plane," "Puff the Magic Dragon" and "Where Have All the Flowers Gone." They performed together for nearly 50 years, winning five Grammys and releasing 13 Top 40 hits, six of them in the Top 10 charts. Sad to say this but once again people make their mark on this earth and quietly exit.


Movie to watch on a another rainy day....
Shiftless and lazy characters that are training to become PRIDE fighters haphazzardly stumble onto the next zombie apocolypse and blunder their way through many situations which to say the least are bemusing at best...The genre has definitely hit its highmark, and this movie was fun but it left me wanting more.I am positive that I will find something else out there that will renergize the zed word genre once more.

homework today..."OYE,HEAVY DOOTY!
Digging through some old stuff? No, the usual dream where I'm walking around Savannah,Ga. and this album came to mind. Benn Watt and Tracy Thorn (which I have loved since she was the lead singer of the now defunct Style Council) have made this album their bitch. Between her sweet,syrupy vocals and his perfectionists knob and sampler twiddling they have subdued this album into submission. A keen insight into the electronic scene at this point in time in London, "Walking Wounded" spares nothing for the listener; from the complex drum lines and sweeping synths that envelop you to Tracy's sad and longing voice....Perfect for this day I promise.



now fuck off, proper....

Cloudy with a Chance of Bullchets

Woke up ready and excited to work(lying),watched Schoolhouse Rock,drank coffee,ate bagel and then received the Phonecall Of Doom...Monkeywrench in the gears of life you say? Heck no, I replied heavily with my shaking fist of fury.Luckily, I have side work on Friday so that should lessen the brunt of missing a whole 64 dollars for the day of a lovely atmosphere,stimulating conversations and productive work habits being used to the fullest extent..Slacked yesterday on the blog shits and geeked out watching the Origins movie, which totally rocked as far as a standalone chapter in the Fox X-men saga.Did find an unusual thing at my new favorite movie store BIGLOTS...
I spent an amazing amount 3 dolares americanos for this soft core Japanese porno. Don't expect to many gems as far as the script goes but the visuals are insane. One of the choice scenes is a camera mounted to a pair of boots plowing through a crowd of unknowing henchmen bent on destroying the lovely Cutie Honey Cyborg.I rated this and A+ for effort on the franchises creator Go Nagai. He is a total loon and a perv to boot but this was executed masterfully. Many thanks to his protege for bringing his vision to life.


"OYE,HEAVY DOOTY!"
Maybe I am speaking out of turn but the definitive soundtrack for missing work has got to be this album.Not being a fan of the cassette single since my youth it would be a mortal fucking sin to listen to this album out of sequence (even though it really is a compilation)however, the journey is complete from beginning to end.Brian Molko's powerful voice emotes an angst which hits me straight in the guts. The trio makes a playground of different soundscapes intertwined with the punch of a driving backbeat provided by Stephen Hewitt. Stephan Olsdal completes the lineup by mirroring and complementing the emotion of Molkos guitar and voice. Great to listen to if you are devising a plan to conquer the world...(at night)

now fuck off....

Tae Guk Sa Jang

More art on the way but first, welcome back to the beginning of the failed work week.By this I mean: 1) You didn't win the lottery on Friday. 2)You probably went out and spent a shit ton of money this weekend to drown your sorrows (see no.1) and last but not least 3)You never caught up on all that sleep you said you would during some point on the weekend. I just want to add one more 4)You were wiping the tears of sadness from your eyes when you pulled into the parking lot of work this morning...Oh wait no.no.no.That last one was me,oh my bad,yo! I was going to write more about the lovely people I work for but on a serious tip Patrick Swayze died a couple of hours ago and that shit sucks because he was my Idol growing up..No not in the movie ROADHOUSE..But as Darryl in The Outsiders and as Jed in Red Dawn...The truth about living is that you eventually see everyone you know die. Okay enough preachy shite let's get into some music. "OYE,HEAVY DOOTY"
Monday morning never smelled this good while listening to The Pixies screaming at full volume.
From the very first track you can feel the combined energies of David Lovering,Joey Santiago,Kim Deal and Black Francis. The angst,the power,just the all around Bad-assness of this album will make you shit your pants in ecstacy...Well maybe not but you will digg it highly..I won't lie to you,but If you play Cecilia Ann loud enough, Patrick Swayze will hear it.


now fuck off,proper.

..... Art is life

Posting some pieces that I have been working on lately....Man I hate scanning shit in, this is why all awesome artists have personal assistants...By the way worst job ever, being a personal assistant to Chuck Close..His smallest paintings are 15 feet high.But yeah, take a look make some requests...Keep it real ,remember there are no rules in art. Fuck the system, do what you want. John Waters wrote,"Technique is nothing more than failed style.Demented forever!"
charcoal 2009
sharpie, colored pencil 2007
Dr.Ph.Martins sepia ink and brush 2009
India Ink (not just any ink but HIGGINS) and brush 2009


acryllic 2009
acrylic 2009(this one glows in the dark)
colored pencil,pen and ink 2008
acrylic 2009


pen and ink 2009





now fuck off.....

Mother,Juggs and Speed

Many times there comes a time,when you heed a certain call,when your friends come together as one...agh...(los Tweets estan trabajando) Last entry from the Car Wash files.(no, not Rolls Royce)Make less talk about detergents and make more time to understand why people want to run over you when there are 5 signs saying please wait for attendant and then why when they pull in do they head immediately for the cell phone. Is there anything THAT important that happened in the last 12 seconds since you pulled into the tunnel of washing cars? I have come to realize that the old ways have completely been eradicated by texting. Gone forever is the belief that you would have to move to a desolate place to distance yourself from people or even that old woodcutting of Heidi's grandfather whittling a chair in the Swiss Alps is lost to the ages.(By the way we own a copy which is in Hello Kitty format) You can literally disappear easily in this electronic age of wonderment by simply typing in a couple of different numbers. This form of life roulette is present on a daily basis at work and cannot be fathomed by anyone except the son of immigrants. Enough of that. I hate where I live. 10 years is a good run I suppose..Music is the ultimate aural erection.

and without further ado.... "OYE,HEAVY DOOTY"
Rainy day,crappy job,best "happy face"

Yes,yes,yes the late,great Ian Curtis...Great music to listen to whilst you write a drama or paint a photorealistic picture of moldy cheese or photographing a crime scene. Good to get you through a rough patch on your life mainly your thirties...



now fuck off..

Holy Poop!

The littlest one woke us up at 5 am throwing up and pooing into her pants..So,I thought this picture would suit today perfectly..I am a horder so I had saved the this picture and others like it so one day I could attach something witty alongside it....And now with no further ado, your homework for the day...

"OYE,HEAVY DOOTY"
(IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)

One of the most surprising find this week, a perfect blend of hip-hop beats and japanese soul..Nujabees and Fat John take the controls of this album.They meld he styles seamlesly into a must-have soundtrack for driving around the boring street of Funchester. Choice tracks "Batlecry" of course and "The space betwen two worlds"...Enjoy and go touch yourselves..

WELCOME!

Hello, this is the first post on the all new and improved window into the inner machinations of my mind.The purpose or mission statement if you will is to catapult myself into the status of "wheee,look at me , I am somebody"....No, that's not it. The real purpose is to to share Art,Music,Obscure Cinema and whatever the fuck I'm into at the moment. Also I will probably praise an unknown talented person once in a while. Yeah okay , it's me. I know "what a fuckin asshole!" Let this post set the tone for the new age in Champion City!

This week I found a bit of exciting music..I think I will call this section:

"OYE,HEAVY DOOTY"
(In no particular order)
1.Big Trouble in Little China
2.Zatoichi Soundtrack
3.Mulan Soundtrack
4.Living Colour-Vivid
5.some crazy ass russian band Korplikaani

okay enough don't want to blow my load the first week.Tune in next Monday. Now fuck off.