Welcome Isle of Man!!!

Since I installed this crazy flag counter on the blog I haven't really been to excited until just recently when strange and exciting foreign countries have shown up on it. The latest welcome addition to this Cult Of Chucha Tu Madre....(drumroll,please) is The Isle Of Man!! Can you really not be excited with the world at your fingertips? I have a couple of new updates on my tattoo extravaganza. This of course after having been raked over the fucking coals for a month and a half with Dermagraphics. Now a little wiser I decided to go with a tried and true company out of Phoenix,Arizona called Superior Tattoo which has surpassed any of my dreams that I never even thought of having. (does that even make sense?) The minute I hung up the phone with them I had a tracking number in my email, a permanent account, login etc.. and last but not least a receipt or bill of lading for all of the products I ordered. Fantastic service. Today I received everything on time and as promised and I could never be happier with the products. Then I heard a loud crash outside my window. I tentatively opened the shades and to my horror I saw the bed cap from my truck wedged upon my sister-in-laws Subaru Outback and the back window smashed out. After the screaming stopped I called Safetilite to ask for the price of the glass. I swear I heard him chuckle when he asked if it was the drivers side window. The reason for the humorous chortle, 609 dollars american ,bitch that's why. So I guess I should start tattooing pretty fucking quick because there went my dentist money.

"there went them teeths" sessions

Cibo Matto may be my asian american, happier version of Portishead. I can't nail down the exact moment they entered my life but I have done nothing but spread their cheery gospel nonetheless. FUN,FUN,FUN. You can even overlook the mispronunciations but truth be told, it only adds to the flavor. Guaranteed to make that drive home a semi-automatic spew of funny catch phrases that can be sung out loud. If "I know my chicken" won't make you sing-a-long you better check your pulse a-hole.
http://www.mediafire.com/?h5mjdmlciyd

Public Enemy Number One

With the advent of an up and coming 40th birthday most people write a sappy, self deprecating and hellish introspective about how they spent the first 4 decades of their life. They'll have these dreamy flash backs to yesteryear and complain how kids have it easy now with their space age gadgetry and cool teenager clothes by Miley Cyrus...Myself, I'm more along the lines of fuck you I had fun and I am not ashamed to brag about it. Sure times have changed for the worse but that just makes me proud to be part of this communicable virus known as humanity. Now at the touch of a button I can offend someone half-way across the universe. The world has truly changed since 1970. Music has changed the landscape considerably almost to the point of a cross gender inducing pop icon status ray that shoots into your home and transforms you beyond all recognition. One moment you're a rocker and "Puahhh!" the next moment you are wiggered out with your baseball hat all askew. "MTV is dead Pandora rules" is the lunchtime cry across the halls of improper conduct and fart jokes. I for one am glad that the mighty have fallen so hard. How can anyone stand music with visuals... Last FM rules the cyberwaves powered by a little project started in a small cubicle which has grown into a godzilla sized behemoth called Twitter. It is a very exciting time for music and music lovers. The gravitas of the moment is being weighed in on still by asshole music writers but the final outcome is still far away. However, when a simple tweet can sink a multi-million dollar farce of a movie in one night, that's a misplaced cry of "Power to the People!!" Wouldn't you say?? It's funny how the 18-25 voters have dominated in the past couple elections. I remember when I was asked during the voter registration period in high school what party do I claim? I answered Independent only because I didn't know what I stood for yet. The road was still too twisted and sick to be revealed yet. Now that information is moving at the speed of thought I don't think any post modernistic father of modern psychology could start to wrap his mind around what is occurring in our modern world. Where we stand, at this technological apex, we should maybe lean over and stare into the dark abyss beneath us even if scares the shit out of us.
On a somber note I just found out that Jun Seba 36, of Nujabees fame (samurai champloo soundtrack? anyone?) died of injuries sustained in a traffic accident on February 23rd 2010, he will be missed. On an even darker note Alex Chilton of Big Star died of an apparent heart attack at age 59. So on my birthday I would like to say "Thanks,I'm truly glad to be alive and enjoying your music this day"
the "Born to be Alive" sessions...

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to.. Especially since I will play what I want...






I always complained nobody would read this and right when it actually has a little traffic I sleep on it. I will return tomorrow.

Hate Mail...

Mr.Joseph Di Modica and Mr.Al Rosetti
I ordered the apprentice kit2 on February 23rd 2010 and have not received my full order yet. I have called 11 times and no one can give me an approximate date of full order completion. Besides the fact that I never got a phone call when the order was put together to inform me of the back order problem, the total lack of communication between your company and the customer is downright pitiful and completely unprofessional. I would like a partial refund for the products that I haven't received. In every phone call I have placed to your company I have never berated the secretary or raised my voice but appparently if that is the only way to illicit a response from a manager I guess my next phone call will be extremely unpleasant. Its a shame that in this current climate where small businesses are suffering tremendously, your company is so inefficient and non commited to customer satifaction. I was under the impression that the customers best interests were the secret to being monetarily successful. I live in a town where word gets out fast and the tattooing community is strong... Don't count DC in your next quarterly profit reports...You have lost this area.

I wrote this in like 3 minutes so excuse the grammer please...

I ,(enter name here)Am A Slack Ass...

Save what can be done today for the day after tomorrow. Plenty of hot musical enjoyment to be had on this rainy Monday. But first, just a quick update on my verbal skirmish with a small corporate entity on Friday. I placed an order with Dermagraphics Inc. for some tattooing supplies on February 23rd... Wait, let me start at the beginning. I surfed the Chez' Nets for an affordable but decent tattoo machine which is usually a hard thing to find with an all inclusive tattoo apprentice kit. A longtime friend and skilled tattoo artist had mentioned a company he ordered from called Dermagraphics and suggested I check them out. The prices were great and the quality of the machines were decent too. So I went ahead, picked out a kit and called the 800 number to get some totals on the extras I saw that I wanted to purchase also. Basically, I was going to Walmart to pick up a pre-paid credit card to put some cash on.(I hate credit cards but it is convenient) I should have foreseen the hassle I was getting into just from my experience with the administrative assistant(or secretary if you want to be a dick about it) I made three calls total and was treated as if I had interrupted her facebook updating each time. The only thing missing would have been her expelling a long breath of air through her pursed lips after everyone of my well articulated questions. She reminded me of the "PopCopy" training video on the now defunct "Chappelle Show"."You might be interrupted one day by these customer-type people. Your job is to frustrate in ever way possible. Why? Because Fuck-em, that's why!" When I returned home I phoned them with my hot little number and was given a 5 digit number which I believed was some sort of tracking number. I rarely do mail order or have any sort of dealings with Fed Ex and I definitely don't have anything that Brown can do for me since I rarely have money to order anything. I admit I was kind of a newbie so when she gave me the number I didn't think much of it and promptly hung up the phone and eagerly awaited my stuff. February 23rd was a Tuesday and before I hung up the toad on the other end informed me that I should have it by Friday or Monday at the latest. Part of me should have wondered then where the company was located in relation to my whereabouts but like I mentioned before I was clueless. Monday evening when I phoned the company to question my order status I was connected to the head of sales, apparently Flo was absent that evening(big whoop). He asked for my order number and I swear he almost laughed when I gave him the 5 digit number I was assigned. Turns out tracking numbers are like 20 digits long. The order was in town and was scheduled to be delivered the next morning Tuesday. One week later to the day. Later I researched the company on WhitePages.com and found out they were located 6 hours away in Myrtle Beach,SC. In all honesty I should have just drove there to pick up my shit...but that's not the best part. The next morning when I received my shipment half of it was missing. The shipping bill indicated that the majority was backordered . With no idea when my things were and what the status was I called the company,AGAIN. The head of sales answered again and informed me that the company that makes the needles was late on their shipment so I would receive my stuff this Thursday March 11th. I made the off hand remark that when the order was put together last Tuesday they should have called to inform me of the situation so I could arrange something else to tide me over in the mean time. He made no comment. That Friday@10AM EST Flo answered my call and I nicely asked if I could speak to the president of the company Mr.Joseph DiModico. She politely declined and informed me that the shipment would not be going to arrive at my home because they still didn't have the products. Needless to say I was fuming. So I sat down and wrote some hate mail and addressed it to the president and vice-president of the company. At 5:30PM that evening I received a phone call from Flo informing me that my order was shipping that moment and I should have it by Monday. She gave me a 20 digit tracking number,I confirmed that FedEX was shipping the order; I thanked her for her phonecall and hung up confident that all was right with the world and I had championed a just cause and not one of my typical windmills. Today is Monday and I checked the tracking number with FedEx.com and received the error message "tracking number is invalid". 15 tries later I called the 800 number on the website and was greeted with a similar answer from the extremely gracious operator. I can't write anymore I am so fucking over this.




Go listen to some Mexican Death Metal and sharpen your Machetes.

ConanO'Brien Caused H1N1..

Tagline reads:"If that doesn't open your appetite I don't know what will."
I made a promise to my close friend ConanO'Brien to include him in today's blog AND link him to the band I'm reviewing AND find him to be the cause of the H1N1 virus. Because of the strong and genuinely deep bond that we share this will not be easy. First off, I've erased this part 26 times already.27. Usually and under less extenuating circumstances by Monday morning I am chock full of ideas and anecdotes. And drawing upon the experiences of the past weekend I can turn it into something humorous and clever all at the same time. So like I mentioned late February I was experimenting using the 13 writing techniques in which I was supposed to emerge a far better writer at the far end of the unemployment tunnel of love. Last weekend I purchased a windup kitchen timer with which my purpose was to attempt to instill good reading habits on a certain individual through the proper usage of time management. The writer's guidebook suggested using a timer to break up writers block. Basically how it works is that you set the timer when you DON'T want to write,let's say one hour right? OK, now sit and write until the bell goes off. Eventually you will write through the alarm because you are having so much freaking fun...So,that shit didn't even work. I set it twice and downloaded music. You really do have the liberty to let the mood strike you when no one is paying you but damn it's nice to take an hour late at night and just flow at your own accord. True freedom,true creative vibe ...that's nice. Too bad it doesn't put a roof over your head. Where is the half-way point between true happiness at work and finding that conduit to be able to release some creativity. I guess that's why I don't review stuff I don't like. Words are sharper than knives,harder than steel. You can't throw that shit out there. It comes back a lot harder than you think...Like a whole bag of cats with c-4 strapped to their tails. Or an irishman on a whiskey binge. Actually, tonight I saw a really,really drunk Irish Muslim now that I come to think about weird things to write about. I'll just keep on trying because I'm too damn stubborn to quit. Incidentally, big ups to Katheryn Bigelow, apparently she butt reamed a bunch of folks at the big sham of a film festival last night. I couldn't watch because I was extremely busy brushing my feet. Apparently you can get foot cavities nowadays. Also there is a resurgence of "The Dropsies" in some parts of the country. That's why I have a drawer full of hand sanitizer and a bag of lighters. Oh, and 19 pocket knives and two stiletto switchblades (both a gift)because you never know when you are going to need one.

"the H1N1 sessions"

The songs of The Middle East, I thought this was indie rock. Cheers to Queensland, Australia for this gem. The only expression I can use to describe this album would be "Radiohead on downers"...indeed...I picked it up on a whim thinking I would like it because of some negative comments made by some asinine music critic. As of late I have been scanning the chez Nets for new music and have resolved to only listen to the stuff music critics hate or write badly about. Yes, it blew up in my face quite quickly but I did find a couple diamonds in the rough.From the get go I was enthralled by the dreamlike production quality of the album. I'm not an uber-sound geek but I have performed a couple of small miracles myself on a couple of occasions. Like that earthquake in Chile...By track 3 I was lost in a sea of pregnant sounding, echoing guitars and lush undertones filling out the bottom end. As forthe high end, Jordans vocals caress your inner ear while smoothing out your coiffure. Guaranteed to fill the empty spaces in your patchwork life.
http://www.mediafire.com/?5y0xzrnd3qi


(RANT)
I played hooky from writing and saw something posted by TIME magazine (who the hell reads that magazine anyway) and I had to hold back the stream of bile which slowly snaked its way up my esophagus and crept slowly into my mouth-hole. According to them the ten greatest super groups (no category, no nothing, thats it,their take on the whole music scene)

1. Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
2. The Traveling Wilburys
3. The Plastic Ono Band
4. The Highwaymen
5. Broken Social Scene
6. Asia
7. Child Rebel Soldier
8. Velvet Revolver
9. The Raconteurs
10. Broken Bells

really, ASIA?!!


Tom Scholz-Guitarist,Keyboardist-US Band Boston-Born 1947
Uwe Faren Krog-Petersen-Keyboard slash singer songwriter-German Band Nena-Born 1960
Rick Rubin-US Record Producing Prodigal Son-Born 1963
Jeff Ament-Bassist-US Band Pearl Jam/Mother Love Bone-Born 1963
Nenah Cherry-Swedish Singer slash Pop Icon-Born 1964
Timbaland aka Timothy Z. Mosley-US Rap Artist-Born 1971



come back tomorrow...

The Meaning Of Life...In Three Parts

I believe the only way to do this picture justice is by informing everyone that "RamMan" from the He-Man series has been spotted in Miami accosting young models in the downtown area. Overheard by numerous bystanders was his remark "Retirement is for pussies!"

Greetings to all countries reading this blog,or if you just ended up here a strong welcome to you too. Many days have passed since I actually sat down and took a deep breath. A welcome friday this is indeed. Another sick child this week too but that comes with the territory and the incessant march forward of everything antibiotic.

A man was asked what he thought would be the greatest accomplishment for all of mankind in the 21st century. His answer was plastics.My point? We as a race worship the most ridiculous things. Technology,Plastics,Fast Food and Automobiles are at the top of the list. For as many leaps forward in certain fields of technology we still are not addressing the true problems of the world. If just the smallest percentage of money that was funneled into telecommunications was diverted for a month straight at solving the plastic pollution problem in the oceans and our landfills we wouldn't even be having this hypothetical conversation. I visited the local landfill numerous times this week and yes it is a thousand times better than it was. Dumping your garbage has never been easier. Everything is sorted and placed in its piles accordingly and the service has been expanded to receive motor oil,car batteries,old propane tanks,phone books and disadvantaged computers. My fear is that although the trash is sorted thoroughly; what happens after 5 o'clock when the citizens leave and the workers just go and bury all that shit together in some remote location of the landfill in which we are not privy to. I promise this is going somewhere really...What can one person do? I would love to see what really happens when the lights go out. I sort my garbage and hope that my plastic is at least being regarded for recycling not just lumped in with the cardboard. It is amazing how much plastic we use daily. And to think in the 70's nuclear waste was the only thing bothering people...What a bunch of sissies.
http://www.vbs.tv/watch/toxic/toxic-garbage-island-1-of-3
An interesting video to watch and reflect on what can we do...

the "stop throwing shit in my yard" sessions....

"La Boheme" is a wonderful opera in which the basic principles of any modern soap opera ring true. Not that trash like "Desperate Housewives" or "Real Whores of (insert location)". No way, this piece was written in 1896 by Giacomo Puccini. Based on a libretto by Luigi Illica and Guiseppe Giacosa this opera embodies a more simpler time for love and romance;no complicated friend requests or misleading text messages can permeate any space of this piece. Boy sees girl,Boy falls in love with girl,boy is too shy,boy sees other boy trying to befriend her,boy fakes a shoe repair to get in close,boy uses poetry to get in close and wham! True love ensues. I can't share a copy because the full album is beyond my reach. Feel free to use my search engine.

In keeping with today's topic I picked this up on some crazy clickstreams run-off. As far as the album name, I am not particularly up to spec on Damon Albarn's eco-views but it seems most Britons are truly concerned with the environment and England's carbon footprint. The album starts out kinda tepid and not very pretentious being that his last album was released in 2007 and was mainly a remix album with some new stuff sprinkled in. However it slowly starts to pick up steam gradually like a kettle on the stove just in time for the 4 o'clock tea time. By the time track 5 rolls around and Bobby Womack drops the hammer down you can feel your blood cells thumping in time with the staccato drum pattern. The album keeps building and building. Each track blends into the other seamlessly until the crescendo reaches near dizzying heights with "Glitter Freeze". Which made me feel like there should be another Dr.Who show just so that this track could be the theme song.. Rounding out the final couple of tracks much props to "Broken" which feels a bit lachrymose at times but manages to be completely deliberately soothing all at once. If you need a soundtrack to your weekend, THIS is it. I predict great things for Mr.Albarn.
I checked this link out, it's legit. http://www.mediafire.com/?itqzlfm4hmz

The only birthday worth mentioning today took place yesterday
Mr.Bobby Womack-Singer slash Soul GOD-Born 1944



peace...